Canada's Dilemma
by Chiko100
Summary: It was a disaster. One he had to fix, eh? Too bad no one else sees it as the apocalypse. Pure humor...hopefully. My be Crack-ish. Rated T just in case.
1. The Problem

This was a random inspiration, I had read about this in the local newspaper...and thought it would be great to write about since it invloves my town. xD

It will hopefully be hilarious to others as well, may not be that great in the prologue though. ;;

Enjoy.

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A young blond man was pacing back and forth, obviously deep in thought. His hair was a light blond with a rather funny looking curly strand sticking out from the top. He had ocean green eyes that were ever so slightly bloodshot, evidence of little sleep and stress.

This was absolutely terrible.

He couldn't believe it…wouldn't believe it.

It just couldn't be happening…not to him right?

RIGHT?

"OH WHY HAD THIS HAPPENED!! WHY GOD WHHHHYYYYY?!?!"

He was promptly snapped out of his thoughts though when a small polar bear tackled him.

"Ah Kumajiro! What are you doing?" said the young man.

"Who?" was the bear's only response.

"It's me Canada, eh? The one who feeds you."

The little Polar Bear only stared at Canada quizzically.

"Really…" began Canada "…is it that hard to remember me?" he grumbled softly.

Kumajiro nodded swiftly and bounded off a little ways…possibly to hide or search for food.

Watching his friend depart with a sigh escaping through his half smile, Canada's mind was brought back to the present issue.

"Now to get back to this problem, eh..." Canada thought aloud.

What was this problem you ask?

Well it was quite simple…his giant hockey stick needed to be repaired.

….no not like that….get your head out of the gutter fool.

It was a landmark in one of his smaller cities…yet it made the town somewhat famous.

He was at least remembered for that well…sometimes he was.

That isn't the point though…what mattered was that he needed to get it repaired…or one of his communities could face a drop in tourist activity…leading to downhill economic activity.

No really, that hockey stick was important…it was what made the world go round…well the Canadian world.

"Enough of that," he scolded himself "What I need is some help...hmm…funding would be easier if another nation helped out."

…and so Canada set out to find a willing volunteer.

If he was Russia the willing part would not be the key word.

Alas this would be his downfall in this particular crusade.

TBC?

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How was it? Good? Bad? Please review~

I always enjoy a random comment too. : D


	2. The Planning and Take Off

Bwahahahah!~ It's the second chapter! Good lord it's 12:15 at night and I have to go to Church tomorrow.

Blast, I wish I went to a Church that was during the evening so that I could sleeeeeep in. Dx

Also i'm one of the few Canadians who doesn't like Timmies. : D -shot-

Blast that Canadian mafia -wheeze- I knew they'd come for me some day.

They'll be a mini Candian slang dictionary thing at the bottom of the page.

I'll be having exams for Math and French soon...so I might not post anything for a while, I suck at French and Math you know.

I must study. Dx

Enough of my problems...

Read!

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"Now all I have to do is find someone to help me!" he declared for all of the North to know.

Too bad that there was no one around, except for Kumajiro, after all…who would come to Canada's house in the middle of winter?

No one…except maybe for Russia…he was use to this kind of weather after all.

'Although Russia-san wouldn't be standing outside like I am now.' thought Canada.

…and with that he quickly retreated into his house after snatching Kumajiro out from under a large pile of snow.

"You know," he began whilst giving a glance to the bear in his arms. "you don't need to hide under the snow….you're already the colour of it, eh."

Kumajiro just gave him a questing look as if he was trying to figure out why such a strange man was carrying him around and talking to him.

"AH, just come on inside you silly thing" mumbled his master as he opened the door with one hand on the animal.

Snow was carried by the wind into his home and Canada quickly ran in and closed the door.

"The last thing I need is a puddle of water on the floor. There are much more pressing matters at hand, eh!"

He placed Kumajiro on the floor and speed-walked into the kitchen, grabbing his bag of Timmies coffee beans and placing them in the coffee maker.

"There's nothing like good coffee to get your mind at full-power." Sighed Canada dreamily.

After fetching a large mug from his cupboard and setting it by the coffee mug Canada set to work, he listed all the nations that 'might' help him.

…Cuba was definitely out….he'd just mistake him for America again.

He had written down three nations and what he would do to get their help up to the point when his coffee pot was ready.

Pouring his sweet sweet coffee lover into the mug he took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma which he so dearly loved. Timmies = Love after all. He added Double-Double and stirred. Retreating back to his workspace, also known as, the kitchen table. He continued on with his work, taking short breaks to fetch more coffee or a snack.

At last at around 2:00 a.m. he was finished. The coffee from earlier had worn off and Canada stood up somewhat unsteadily, making his way to the bathroom. He relieved his bladder and brushed his teeth. Then he went to his chesterfield and flopped onto it in a deep sleep beside Kumajiro. It was quite a heart warming scene…one that France would have taken advantage of.

The next morning, errr, afternoon Canada woke to Kumajiro poking him in the face with one of his more sharper claws, his companion seemed to be in shock, and asked "Who?" as if he was trying to ask what a complete stranger was doing in his house.

Canada still being groggy from his night groggily replied "'m Ca-" he yawned "-nada."

Shuffling over to the kitchen he drank a glass of water, and after making pancakes which included his favourite sauce, Maple Syrup that is, he ate rather politely even though his speed was close to that of America. Close, not quite. No man/nation alive could eat as fast as that guy. Anyways he was only eating in such a manner because of his plans. His terribly deadly plan. No not like that, do none of you understand Canadian? For God's sake he isn't Russia! Haven't we stressed that enough?

Feeling rejuvenated from his meal Canada quickly went to the bathroom and did his business and such, and after washing his hands he brushed his teeth and had a nice relaxing warm shower. If the narrator was France there would be great detail with some added, ahem, R-rated themes that would definitely not be true.

He was dressed, clean, full, and happy. Now it was time. This was it…the moment that really mattered.

It was now or never.

Picking up his work from the kitchen counter he left the house after pulling on his boots and saying a long good-bye to Kumajiro…who still didn't know who he was. Canada was beginning to wonder if the bear suffered from short-term memory loss. If it was true for the bear then it must have been true for the rest of the world as well.

With that he went off to his first destination.

TBC?

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R&R please. Also just comment on parts you like or whatever...all comments are great.

**Canadian Slang**

**Timmies:** Tim Horton's food/drink are often called someone's 'Timmies'. Tim Horton's is a coffee restaurent place.

**Double-Double: **Double the cream, Double the sugar. Usually used at a restaurant, but I used it to describe.

**Deadly:** Something done well. Also used to refer to something as 'excessive'.

I wish I could sleep in until noon tomorrow.


End file.
